Tonparklegvol is a god.

It takes the form of an eight hundred metre long, humorless chicken.

Tonparklegvol created viruses four years ago.

If you believe in Tonparklegvol, it will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Tonparklegvol, it will attempt to scare you with hail.

Tonparklegvol's most sacred site is Panormos in Greece.

Tonparklegvol's Holy Commandments

1. Hide if three badgers approach from the west.

2. Do not drink alcohol.

3. Do not trade with those who eat figs.

4. Do not wear cyan clothing.

5. Never think about electromagnetism near gulls while wearing mauve kilts and balancing nine platinum spheres on your neck.