Botsugventargwap is a god.

It takes the form of a fat, capable cow.

Botsugventargwap created Mount Everest three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Botsugventargwap, it will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Botsugventargwap, it will turn you into a small brown duck.

Botsugventargwap's most sacred site is Goldcliff in Wales.

Botsugventargwap's Holy Commandments

1. Always look after injured mites.

2. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Botsugventargwap.

3. Retreat if seven eagles approach from the west.

4. Never go into pink rooms.

5. Do not commit murder.