Janbepdam is a god.

It takes the form of a chunky, charitable beaver.

Janbepdam created life six million years ago.

If you believe in Janbepdam, it will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Janbepdam, it will strike you with lightening.

Janbepdam's most sacred site is Utti in Finland.

Janbepdam's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about the strong nuclear force near horses while wearing indigo hats and balancing eight nickel spheres on your chest.

2. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

3. Janbepdam must be the most important thing in your life.

4. Do not speak about grapes.

5. Never talk about fire.