Kimpombiss Gillitpom is a god.

It takes the form of an exceedingly fat, ruthless sheep.

Kimpombiss Gillitpom created Mount Everest four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Kimpombiss Gillitpom, it will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Kimpombiss Gillitpom, it will curse you and those you beget for seventy quadrillion years.

Kimpombiss Gillitpom's most sacred site is Goldcliff in Wales.

Kimpombiss Gillitpom's Holy Commandments

1. Always treat snails with great respect.

2. Do not eat bananas.

3. Feed all hungry frogs.

4. Never wear magenta kilts.

5. Never talk about planets.