Inglatnurcep is a god.

She takes the form of a huge, thoughtless dugong.

Inglatnurcep created everything that exists nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Inglatnurcep, she will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Inglatnurcep, she will hide angry queen hornets in your dwelling place.

Inglatnurcep's most sacred site is Phepheng in Botswana.

Inglatnurcep's Holy Commandments

1. Always make sure there are no otters in a building before entering it.

2. Learn six new languages a year.

3. Never think about the weak nuclear force near cats while wearing mauve boots and balancing seven tin spheres on your feet.

4. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

5. You must love Inglatnurcep.