Badstanged is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely fat, ruthless hippopotamus.

Badstanged created the Sombrero Galaxy five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Badstanged, she will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Badstanged, she will send twenty two thousand, three hundred, and seventy eight badgers to sort you out.

Badstanged's most sacred site is Monong in Botswana.

Badstanged's Holy Commandments

1. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

2. Do not take Badstanged's name in vain.

3. Always help pigs in need.

4. Do not make images of living things.

5. Never look at dwarf planets.