Cabfagbafabtan Latfidfabspag is a god.

It takes the form of a chunky, happy armadillo.

Cabfagbafabtan Latfidfabspag created dark matter eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Cabfagbafabtan Latfidfabspag, it will celebrate by creating some galaxies.

If you do not believe in Cabfagbafabtan Latfidfabspag, it will send twenty two thousand, three hundred, and seventy eight badgers to sort you out.

Cabfagbafabtan Latfidfabspag's most sacred site is Olmarch in Wales.

Cabfagbafabtan Latfidfabspag's Holy Commandments

1. Never look at galaxies.

2. Never eat green fruit.

3. Always make sure there are no squirrels in a building before entering it.

4. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

5. Always pray immersed in water.