Bapflatnellbit is a god.

She takes the form of a seven thousand metre long, all-knowing human.

Bapflatnellbit created a strange quark three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Bapflatnellbit, she will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Bapflatnellbit, she will turn you into a frog.

Bapflatnellbit's most sacred site is Khwee in Botswana.

Bapflatnellbit's Holy Commandments

1. Bapflatnellbit loves great tits, so they must be honoured.

2. Do not speak about apples.

3. Mites are unholy and should not be approached.

4. Never feed cucumbers to sheep while wearing red stockings.

5. Draw representations of moons on the walls of your dwelling place.