Xucbandit is a god.

He takes the form of an eight hundred metre long, sage aardvark.

Xucbandit created a quark eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Xucbandit, he will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Xucbandit, he will destroy your home planet.

Xucbandit's most sacred site is Vambupet in India.

Xucbandit's Holy Commandments

1. Look mercifully on unfortunate nematodes.

2. You must love Xucbandit.

3. Never eat green fruit.

4. Erect four silicon sculptures of Xucbandit on top of important buildings.

5. Always treat monkeys with great respect.