Cipbitgov is a god.

He takes the form of a corpulent, thoughtless faun.

Cipbitgov created the planet Venus seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Cipbitgov, he will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Cipbitgov, he will turn you into a rat.

Cipbitgov's most sacred site is Ilmola in Finland.

Cipbitgov's Holy Commandments

1. Never leap near hamsters.

2. Respect your elders.

3. Cipbitgov loves mites, so they must be respected.

4. Cipbitgov must be the most important thing in your life.

5. Never go into brown rooms.