Lagvonksinnan is a god.

He takes the form of a microscopic, boastful horse.

Lagvonksinnan created a photon three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Lagvonksinnan, he will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Lagvonksinnan, he will destroy your favourite solar system.

Lagvonksinnan's most sacred site is Manja in Madagascar.

Lagvonksinnan's Holy Commandments

1. Draw representations of nebulae on the walls of your dwelling place.

2. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

3. Erect five silver sculptures of Lagvonksinnan on top of important buildings.

4. Always pray in complete darkness.

5. Never think about planets.