Stangembaf is a god.

It takes the form of a small, resourceful snake.

Stangembaf created energy five million years ago.

If you believe in Stangembaf, it will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Stangembaf, it will remove you from existence.

Stangembaf's most sacred site is Mmankgodi in Botswana.

Stangembaf's Holy Commandments

1. Never paint your face cyan.

2. Your children must be taught to worship Stangembaf.

3. Paint representations of black holes on the walls of your dwelling place.

4. Stangembaf must be the most important thing in your life.

5. Never pour water over plants.