Zakpasnur is a god.

She takes the form of an eight hundred metre long, omnipotent clam.

Zakpasnur created a quark four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Zakpasnur, she will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Zakpasnur, she will come to you in dreams.

Zakpasnur's most sacred site is Corsock in Scotland.

Zakpasnur's Holy Commandments

1. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

2. Never wear trousers.

3. Do not take Zakpasnur's name in vain.

4. Never write about asteroids.

5. Never talk about quantum field theory.