Metladxucfidgebomin is a god.

It takes the form of an eight thousand metre long, witless wombat.

Metladxucfidgebomin created light eight million years ago.

If you believe in Metladxucfidgebomin, it will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Metladxucfidgebomin, it will destroy your favourite planet.

Metladxucfidgebomin's most sacred site is Issigeac in France.

Metladxucfidgebomin's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about horizontal gene transfer.

2. Never think about optics near tapirs while wearing violet stockings and balancing five copper spheres on your legs.

3. Worship no other gods but Metladxucfidgebomin.

4. Never talk about quantum mechanics near cats while wearing magenta tights.

5. Always help sheep.