Lakdibvonkdosshotkem is a god.

He takes the form of a six hundred metre long, egotistical duck.

Lakdibvonkdosshotkem created matter four million years ago.

If you believe in Lakdibvonkdosshotkem, he will celebrate by creating some planets.

If you do not believe in Lakdibvonkdosshotkem, he will name a particularly small and pointless asteroid after you.

Lakdibvonkdosshotkem's most sacred site is Karikalampakkam in India.

Lakdibvonkdosshotkem's Holy Commandments

1. Do not fashion models of living things.

2. Never talk about birds.

3. Never go into purple rooms.

4. Do not covet oxen.

5. Do not stand on grass.