Kapquimhiv is a god.

He takes the form of a three thousand metre long, flying toad.

Kapquimhiv created an up quark three hundred thousand years ago.

If you believe in Kapquimhiv, he will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Kapquimhiv, he will be very unhappy.

Kapquimhiv's most sacred site is Didy in Madagascar.

Kapquimhiv's Holy Commandments

1. Feed all hungry grasshopers.

2. Never wear violet shoes.

3. Put Kapquimhiv first in all things.

4. Draw representations of stars on the walls of your dwelling place.

5. Do not covet oxen.