Nillflatkan is a god.

She takes the form of a three thousand metre long, contented otter.

Nillflatkan created the planet Mars three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Nillflatkan, she will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Nillflatkan, she will hide angry, venomous snakes in your dwelling place.

Nillflatkan's most sacred site is Polagam in India.

Nillflatkan's Holy Commandments

1. Always help sick eagles.

2. You must never eat peanuts.

3. Always pray in complete darkness.

4. Never feed turnips to pigs while wearing indigo kilts.

5. You must love Nillflatkan.