Stafgepton is a god.

She takes the form of a massive, dishonourable eagle.

Stafgepton created snails six thousand years ago.

If you believe in Stafgepton, she will approve.

If you do not believe in Stafgepton, she will denounce you as a heretic.

Stafgepton's most sacred site is Dingcun in China.

Stafgepton's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about the weak nuclear force near bats while wearing white ear rings and balancing five silver spheres on your arms.

2. Do not shave your head.

3. Draw representations of black holes on the walls of your dwelling place.

4. Never play with disobedient children.

5. Never write about bacteria.