Hudkantan is a god.

He takes the form of a slender, selfish hippopotamus.

Hudkantan created time and space six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Hudkantan, he will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Hudkantan, he will turn you into an amoeba.

Hudkantan's most sacred site is Minnigaff in Scotland.

Hudkantan's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about great tits.

2. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

3. Do not stand on grass.

4. Do not dye your hair cyan.

5. Never eat carrots.