Pogfubfid is a god.

It takes the form of a plump, ruthless troll.

Pogfubfid created a Higgs boson four million years ago.

If you believe in Pogfubfid, it will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Pogfubfid, it will refuse to believe in you.

Pogfubfid's most sacred site is Olmarch in Wales.

Pogfubfid's Holy Commandments

1. Put Pogfubfid first in all things.

2. Never write about enzymes.

3. Always make a point of helping unfortunate sharks.

4. Always make sure there are no tortoises in a room before entering it.

5. You must pray to Pogfubfid four times a day.