Ortbosscut is a god.

She takes the form of an eight hundred metre long, happy goblin.

Ortbosscut created oxygen three hundred thousand years ago.

If you believe in Ortbosscut, she will be happy.

If you do not believe in Ortbosscut, she will have an extremely low opinion of you.

Ortbosscut's most sacred site is Troqueer in Scotland.

Ortbosscut's Holy Commandments

1. Always take life seriously.

2. Never write about ribonucleic acid.

3. Show mercy to disobedient children.

4. Never look in ponds.

5. Never sing in the presence of eagles.