Ladhenmet is a god.

She takes the form of a nine hundred metre long, two-faced octopus.

Ladhenmet created an up quark five million years ago.

If you believe in Ladhenmet, she will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Ladhenmet, she will name a particularly small and pointless comet after you.

Ladhenmet's most sacred site is Miiluranta in Finland.

Ladhenmet's Holy Commandments

1. Do not cook food in pots.

2. Never feed bananas to monkeys while wearing pink shoes.

3. Do not listen to music.

4. Erect eight lead sculptures of Ladhenmet on top of important buildings.

5. Do not hurt pigs.