Larncebbugwik is a god.

She takes the form of a nine thousand metre long, humane warg.

Larncebbugwik created matter four billion years ago.

If you believe in Larncebbugwik, she will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Larncebbugwik, she will turn you into a sparrow.

Larncebbugwik's most sacred site is Penpont in Scotland.

Larncebbugwik's Holy Commandments

1. Always look after injured doves.

2. Run away from gray shrews, for they are unholy.

3. Do not hurt grasshopers.

4. You must love Larncebbugwik.

5. Aardvarks are unholy and should not be approached.