Fumbassflig is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely heavy, strong aardvark.

Fumbassflig created the Small Magellanic Cloud seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Fumbassflig, she will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Fumbassflig, she will denounce you as a heretic.

Fumbassflig's most sacred site is Goldcliff in Wales.

Fumbassflig's Holy Commandments

1. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

2. Never feed lots of bread to cats while wearing cyan boots.

3. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

4. Erect a giant fawn sculpture of Fumbassflig in the centre of the settlement.

5. Your children must be taught to worship Fumbassflig.