Jabyimarp is a god.

She takes the form of a blubbery, awesome hare.

Jabyimarp created an up quark eight million years ago.

If you believe in Jabyimarp, she will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Jabyimarp, she will send two she bears to sort you out.

Jabyimarp's most sacred site is Phepheng in Botswana.

Jabyimarp's Holy Commandments

1. Do not stand on grass.

2. Erect a large gold sculpture of Jabyimarp on top of all buildings.

3. Do not drink alcohol.

4. Never write about the inheritance of acquired characteristics.

5. Always treat ducks with great respect.