Kopgiljon is a god.

He takes the form of a very long, merciless snake.

Kopgiljon created the planet Venus three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Kopgiljon, he will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Kopgiljon, he will send three marmosets to sort you out.

Kopgiljon's most sacred site is Randers in Denmark.

Kopgiljon's Holy Commandments

1. Do not shave your arms.

2. Never feed cucumbers to bats while wearing kilts.

3. Always obey Kopgiljon's priests.

4. Never think about ribonucleic acid.

5. Never talk about fire.