Natlunrat is a god.

She takes the form of a six thousand metre long, humorless aardvark.

Natlunrat created life nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Natlunrat, she will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Natlunrat, she will turn you into a puffin.

Natlunrat's most sacred site is Outchimedu in India.

Natlunrat's Holy Commandments

1. Never sing in holy places.

2. Hide from magenta horses for they are unholy.

3. Do not wear platinum on your body.

4. Never think about the weak nuclear force near ants while wearing mauve shoes and balancing nine lead spheres on your hands.

5. Never feed lots of figs to hamsters while wearing pink dresses.