Stiprillstig is a god.

He takes the form of a nine hundred metre long, able mole.

Stiprillstig created the Sol system three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Stiprillstig, he will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Stiprillstig, he will jump up and down fuming with rage.

Stiprillstig's most sacred site is Metsimotlhabe in Botswana.

Stiprillstig's Holy Commandments

1. Paint representations of black holes on the walls of your dwelling place.

2. Do not chop down trees.

3. Never think about nucleic acids.

4. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

5. Always help monkeys.