Mabfadnutt Dapwegpig is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely large, pitiless porpoise.

Mabfadnutt Dapwegpig created a strange quark eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Mabfadnutt Dapwegpig, he will celebrate by creating some planets.

If you do not believe in Mabfadnutt Dapwegpig, he will destroy your favourite solar system.

Mabfadnutt Dapwegpig's most sacred site is Uruachi in Mexico.

Mabfadnutt Dapwegpig's Holy Commandments

1. Do not skip in public.

2. Worship no other gods but Mabfadnutt Dapwegpig.

3. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

4. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

5. Walk at least seven thousand metres per day.