Dussyarthap is a god.

She takes the form of a slim, benevolent jaguar.

Dussyarthap created energy nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Dussyarthap, she will celebrate by creating some planets.

If you do not believe in Dussyarthap, she will remove you from existence.

Dussyarthap's most sacred site is Ilmola in Finland.

Dussyarthap's Holy Commandments

1. Worship no other gods but Dussyarthap.

2. Never talk about comets.

3. Never feed aubergines to ducks while wearing pink shoes.

4. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

5. Do not stand on grass.