Flatjabyar is a god.

She takes the form of a three hundred metre long, annoying dingo.

Flatjabyar created the Sunflower Galaxy six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Flatjabyar, she will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Flatjabyar, she will torture you forever.

Flatjabyar's most sacred site is Khwee in Botswana.

Flatjabyar's Holy Commandments

1. Fast once a month.

2. Never think about dark matter near horses while wearing fawn boots and balancing four platinum spheres on your feet.

3. Do not take Flatjabyar's name in vain.

4. Do not shave your back.

5. Do not cook food in pots.