Pagpangcad is a god.

It takes the form of a fat, self-assured unicorn.

Pagpangcad created the world four billion years ago.

If you believe in Pagpangcad, it will approve.

If you do not believe in Pagpangcad, it will send minions to preach to you.

Pagpangcad's most sacred site is Faux Cap in Madagascar.

Pagpangcad's Holy Commandments

1. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Pagpangcad.

2. Dogs are unholy and should not be approached.

3. Never think about gravity near shrews while wearing pink jumpers and balancing five nickel spheres on your feet.

4. Always help mice.

5. Fast once a month.