Garcutdod is a god.

She takes the form of a plump, idiotic lion.

Garcutdod created the Cigar Galaxy five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Garcutdod, she will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Garcutdod, she will remove you from existence.

Garcutdod's most sacred site is Yongding in China.

Garcutdod's Holy Commandments

1. Do not speak about grapes.

2. Never talk about the weak nuclear force near mice while wearing purple shoes.

3. Never eat bark.

4. Do not drink alcohol.

5. Walk at least three thousand metres per day.