Larnbogbass is a god.

It takes the form of a plump, blissful raccoon.

Larnbogbass created humankind eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Larnbogbass, it will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Larnbogbass, it will name a particularly small and pointless asteroid after you.

Larnbogbass' most sacred site is Alyki in Greece.

Larnbogbass' Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of platinum.

3. Never write about planets.

4. Never talk about shrews.

5. Learn three new languages a year.