Larpstragkik is a god.

He takes the form of a minute, fast whale.

Larpstragkik created dark energy six billion years ago.

If you believe in Larpstragkik, he will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Larpstragkik, he will turn you into a duck.

Larpstragkik's most sacred site is Esse in Finland.

Larpstragkik's Holy Commandments

1. Do not listen to music.

2. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

3. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

4. Never play with disobedient children.

5. Run away from magenta tapirs, for they are unholy.