Afxenbast Gab is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely heavy, kind dugong.

Afxenbast Gab created a photon nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Afxenbast Gab, it will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Afxenbast Gab, it will curse you and those you beget for fifty two trillion years.

Afxenbast Gab's most sacred site is Quellendorf in Germany.

Afxenbast Gab's Holy Commandments

1. Feed all hungry horses.

2. Always pray in complete darkness.

3. Never pour water over plants.

4. Never wear purple corsets.

5. Never look at asteroids.