Vabwikkontofhiv is a god.

It takes the form of a four hundred metre long, vain donkey.

Vabwikkontofhiv created Africa seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Vabwikkontofhiv, it will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Vabwikkontofhiv, it will turn you into a goat.

Vabwikkontofhiv's most sacred site is Penhale in England.

Vabwikkontofhiv's Holy Commandments

1. Never hurt dogs.

2. Never write about stars.

3. Feed all hungry mites.

4. Never talk about planets.

5. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.