Yimtonbag is a god.

It takes the form of a seven thousand metre long, capable toad.

Yimtonbag created Africa five million years ago.

If you believe in Yimtonbag, it will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Yimtonbag, it will turn you into a puffin.

Yimtonbag's most sacred site is Dingcun in China.

Yimtonbag's Holy Commandments

1. Your children must be taught to worship Yimtonbag.

2. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

3. Never talk about bacteria.

4. Never go into mauve rooms.

5. Never write about black holes.