Vanmaptabbettam is a god.

He takes the form of a large, competent slug.

Vanmaptabbettam created an electron four billion years ago.

If you believe in Vanmaptabbettam, he will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Vanmaptabbettam, he will attempt to scare you with floods.

Vanmaptabbettam's most sacred site is Karikalampakkam in India.

Vanmaptabbettam's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat bark.

2. Pray towards the west.

3. Never eat green fruit.

4. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

5. Never think about dark matter.