Kamnell is a god.

It takes the form of a minute, quiet octopus.

Kamnell created the planet Earth four years ago.

If you believe in Kamnell, it will not care.

If you do not believe in Kamnell, it will send you a strongly worded letter.

Kamnell's most sacred site is Pedraza in Spain.

Kamnell's Holy Commandments

1. Do not kill moths.

2. Always wear white.

3. Hide from blue badgers for they are unholy.

4. Never write about eukaryotes.

5. Never pour water over plants.