Japlambarn is a god.

He takes the form of a four thousand metre long, effective hedgehog.

Japlambarn created Europe eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Japlambarn, he will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Japlambarn, he will attempt to scare you with hail.

Japlambarn's most sacred site is Mogonono in Botswana.

Japlambarn's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink water in black rooms.

2. Never talk about tapirs.

3. Pray towards the north.

4. Never play with disobedient children.

5. Worship no other gods but Japlambarn.