Tan is a god.

It takes the form of a very small, smart crab.

Tan created humanity three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Tan, it will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Tan, it will turn you into a dog.

Tan's most sacred site is Kirumampakkam in India.

Tan's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat limes.

2. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

3. Retreat if eight horses approach from the east.

4. Do not take Tan's name in vain.

5. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.