Hogjigrag Tailafgig is a god.

It takes the form of a slender, clever wombat.

Hogjigrag Tailafgig created the cosmos five million years ago.

If you believe in Hogjigrag Tailafgig, it will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Hogjigrag Tailafgig, it will turn you into a dog.

Hogjigrag Tailafgig's most sacred site is Vandet in Denmark.

Hogjigrag Tailafgig's Holy Commandments

1. Never feed apples to grasshopers while wearing hats.

2. Respect your elders.

3. Never write about quantum field theory.

4. Nematodes are not to be trusted.

5. Do not make images of living things.