Madtanfarn is a god.

It takes the form of a giant, merciless weasel.

Madtanfarn created the planet Venus three thousand years ago.

If you believe in Madtanfarn, it will approve.

If you do not believe in Madtanfarn, it will come to you in dreams.

Madtanfarn's most sacred site is Hej in Sweden.

Madtanfarn's Holy Commandments

1. Your children must be taught to worship Madtanfarn.

2. Never think about thermodynamics near eagles while wearing brown shorts and balancing six gold spheres on your arms.

3. Do not listen to music.

4. Always treat porpoises with great respect.

5. Never pour water over plants.