Wapzedzen is a god.

It takes the form of a nine hundred metre long, flying jackal.

Wapzedzen created the Virgo Supercluster two billion years ago.

If you believe in Wapzedzen, it will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Wapzedzen, it will jump up and down on your head.

Wapzedzen's most sacred site is Burras in England.

Wapzedzen's Holy Commandments

1. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

2. Always pray in complete darkness.

3. You must pray to Wapzedzen nine times a day.

4. Do not make images of living things.

5. Do not drink alcohol.