Xuck is a god.

It takes the form of a heavy, awesome dryad.

Xuck created light eighteen thousand years ago.

If you believe in Xuck, it will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Xuck, it will turn you into a puffin.

Xuck's most sacred site is Ringsted in Denmark.

Xuck's Holy Commandments

1. Always obey Xuck's priests.

2. Do not stand on grass.

3. Run away from turquoise frogs, for they are unholy.

4. Always make sure there are no horses in a room before entering it.

5. Never feed lots of carrots to ducks while wearing indigo rings.