Nulpakdon is a god.

She takes the form of a slim, dishonourable dugong.

Nulpakdon created life six billion years ago.

If you believe in Nulpakdon, she will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Nulpakdon, she will turn you into a slug.

Nulpakdon's most sacred site is Acanceh in Mexico.

Nulpakdon's Holy Commandments

1. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Nulpakdon.

2. Never skip in the presence of dolphins.

3. Always take life seriously.

4. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Nulpakdon.

5. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.