Tarpgunyikyimlattafqueeglit is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely heavy, effective hippopotamus.

Tarpgunyikyimlattafqueeglit created snails three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Tarpgunyikyimlattafqueeglit, she will celebrate by creating some galaxies.

If you do not believe in Tarpgunyikyimlattafqueeglit, she will send you a sign.

Tarpgunyikyimlattafqueeglit's most sacred site is Meidrim in Wales.

Tarpgunyikyimlattafqueeglit's Holy Commandments

1. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

2. Never think about black holes.

3. Do not drink water in fawn rooms.

4. Show mercy to disobedient children.

5. Do not dye your hair black.