Taflarpgarsom is a god.

He takes the form of a microscopic, slow walrus.

Taflarpgarsom created the planet Venus four years ago.

If you believe in Taflarpgarsom, he will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Taflarpgarsom, he will attempt to scare you with floods.

Taflarpgarsom's most sacred site is Pandamatenga in Botswana.

Taflarpgarsom's Holy Commandments

1. Never think ill of sick ducks.

2. Look mercifully on unfortunate great tits.

3. Always help dogs in need.

4. Feed all hungry swans.

5. Taflarpgarsom loves aardvarks, so they must be honoured.