Bidtinlop is a god.

It takes the form of an exceedingly large, humorless cow.

Bidtinlop created the Black Eye Galaxy three billion years ago.

If you believe in Bidtinlop, it will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Bidtinlop, it will not care.

Bidtinlop's most sacred site is Gadna in Hungary.

Bidtinlop's Holy Commandments

1. Erect a large iron sculpture of Bidtinlop on top of all buildings.

2. Never write about quantum field theory.

3. Never eat bark.

4. Always pray immersed in water.

5. Never play with disobedient children.